Nap Time's Over!
Mary Taylor
Sleep is the ultimate rejuvenating resource we all have. From wild animals to even us humans, we can’t live without drifting off into a realm of rest where the body, mind and spirit can become restored. Think about watching a young child wake up from a delightful, deep sleep. One of those naps where they were so tired before they plopped down, that they instantly transformed from a blurry ball of energy into what could be mistaken for an interesting piece of modern art carefully placed at the edge of the carpet. It’s the kind of sleep where they become oblivious to everything else, sorting out the events of the day as they dream away. They may twitch from time to time when dishes clank, but then they carry on, absorbing external sounds into the stories their shiny new minds are spinning, but mostly, they’re solidly committed to being asleep. And then they wake up. Sometimes slowly enough to ease back into the world, but often with resistance, crying as they snuggle into their mother’s welcoming arms protected from the calamity of being tossed unwillingly from their dream’s illusion into a different story where things don’t quite make sense.
That’s very much like what’s happening to us all today culturally, politically, individually, interpersonally and environmentally. On so many levels we have been programed to walk around in life half asleep—napping—absorbed by our own perceptions and storylines while oblivious to others. Eons of these collective dream states are the driving force that have shaped and perpetuated a 21st Century fantasy world of separate self; self indulgence and self aggrandizement for some and extraordinary isolation, inequality, pain and suffering for others. It’s gotten to the point where, among other things, basic human rights and human dignity are eroding to the extent that truthfulness, kindness, forgiveness and tenderness of heart—what we call love—are at stake. And we’ve been sleeping through it.
But this nap is over. An unprecedented series of global calamities—the year 2020—has sounded the alarm alerting us to the fact that the world as we’ve known it is broken on so many levels and it must be repaired. Like it or not, it’s time to wake up. Wake up to the challenge of facing seismic shifts in the ground beneath us that are causing the crumbling of old ways. How can we ease out of our long-standing sleep and meet these times fully, with grace and compassion, rather than flailing about with resistance like a disoriented child in search of their mother’s embrace?
As the virus hit and lockdowns occurred, many of us were met with feelings of confusion, anxiety and fear in the face of uncertainty. Radical change was engulfing everything we held to be solid. The possibility of loosing our dreams, identity, our jobs might have given us the urge to trample over others in an attempt to keep our storyline in tact. Or we might have buried our head in the sand imagining we cold ride out the waves of change until things got back to normal. But things dragged on and the fabric of virtually everything began to unravel even more. It’s been exhausting, but on good days there are rays of hope that we’ll learn and change in ways that will result in a healthier world. If not for ourselves, for our children.
Perhaps one of the most positive and important lessons from this time is the revelation that “normal” wasn’t working before the pandemic, and that it really won’t work now. That’s because the norm was based on two critical misperceptions. First that our lives, our individual stories, even the beautiful mountains we scale are real, solid and unchanging. Secondly the steadfast belief that we’re separate from everything else and therefore must go it alone. From the yoga perspective these two points of confusion are called basic ignorance, or avidyā, which is said to be the root of suffering. We are not separate from everything else and nothing in the perceivable world is unchanging, everything is interconnected and in constant flux. These are slippery concepts to fully comprehend. “Yeah, of course I get it,” you might think, “We’re all one and the only thing that doesn’t change is that things change.” Yet a moment later you’re holding on with an iron grip to an illusion you’ve constructed of yourself as separate and to a world you imagine is filled with tangible, solid objects—including you yourself—that last forever. The fleeting thought that one day you’ll die may cross your mind, and your grip tightens, but then insights of reality fade into the background of mind. It’s so easy to forget, to drop into avidyā, and we all do it all the time, especially when difficulties arise.
“How can we ease out of our long-standing sleep and meet these times fully, with grace and compassion, rather than flailing about with resistance like a disoriented child in search of their mother’s embrace?”
To bring light to this notion of avidyā, see if you can step back for a moment from your everyday view and notice the wave patterns that surround you. The wind causing leaves to flutter or the bug moving across the floor with a piece of dust attached to its leg. Things are happing and constantly demonstrating to us, if we only take time to notice, that everything is undergoing change all the time and that everything is also intimately interwoven. Water in the tea kettle boils, the stem rises, the stamp falls off the letter you’re holding as you stand by riding patterns of thought, breath, sensation and mind. This is sometimes referred to as the “karmic chains of being” and is a tangible way, when followed to the subtle most levels, of illuminating the nature of impermanence and interdependence. Karma isn’t a system of pre-determined outcomes. Instead it is a way of describing how important every little action we take is. Everything we do (even everything we think) causes ripple effects that impact the whole. Karma means action. Actions, subtle to gross, cause reactions; they have consequences. In other words, when one sentient being suffers it impacts us all.
During the past year, we’ve seen momentous waves of suffering worldwide in so many different realms. We’ve all been impacted. From the karmic view, each of us has an opportunity to take conscious action by first becoming grounded in the circumstance of the present moment, no matter how unpleasant those circumstances may be. From that place of stability and motivated by a desire to serve the whole, it becomes possible to see more clearly what is the best thing to do. Right this minute, any action, big or small, that you are capable of taking and that is directed away from a “me first” mentality toward one that is outward looking and deeply connected to others will begin to shift the tides. Rather than getting swept up in the currents of self-indulgence and suffering (as is human nature) you can ride the waves of change, helping to guide and participate in the directions the waves takes us with grace, mercy. This is what it means to wake up. We’re in this together and there is still time to alleviate suffering and to heal.
Remembering the karmic chains and that whatever you do (or don’t do) impacts the whole, might be just the incentive you need to contribute to the healing. Here are four simple things you can do today to start. And if four seems like too many, do just one. And if one seems overwhelming, it’s OK. Just breathe. Watch the pattern of breath and physical changes you experience as the breath moves in and out of your body for a minute or so. And try to be nice to both yourself and others. Start there. See what happens.
Practice
Asana, meditation and pranayama practices are designed to help us sharpen our focus and attention. We watch the breath move, the thoughts come and go, the synchronization of actions with counter actions, and so on. Contemplative practices are ways of training your body and mind to wake up to what is going on right here right now.
A few things you can do to develop and maintain a practice:
Start or maintain an internal contemplative practice of some sort.
Five minutes a day is great. It’s 100% more than nothing and it adds up. Of course, two hours is fine too and once a week is better than never. Start where you are. Where else is there to begin?
Consistent contemplative practice will help you tune into the present moment, to learn to experience your feelings, thoughts and sensations as they arise. If you’ve found a form of practice that is right for you and your circumstances, you’ll find that over time you it naturally becomes part of your everyday awareness, routine and life.
Once you learn to tune into yourself you can more accurately tune into others. Pause before reacting to others and your environment. Start simple here too—like really noticing the person ringing up your groceries at the store or the neighbor’s cat as they skulk through your yard.
Tuning in, rather that tuning out is the first step in the process of waking up. When you notice you’re on auto pilot, take one deep breath and consciously follow it—pay attention to the physical sensations—as it heads down into your lungs. Then look again at your circumstance. Maybe you’ll feel a bit more of your own experience and be able see a bit more about what’s going on around you.
Live Truth
In yoga we speak of satyam, or truth that is embedded in an understanding of non-harming and the knowledge of interconnectedness. There have always been lies, propaganda and deceit and there probably always will be. But these current times are unique in the blatant public disregard for truth and for holding one’s self and others accountable to the truth. We’ve become desensitized to the damage that is done to our nervous system and to the entire karmic chains connected to that, every time we tell a lie or let the telling of a lie slide. You cannot force others not to lie, but you can hold yourself accountable to truth.
Be careful and accurate with your speech.
Pay attention to the impact your words have on those who hear them. Notice even small physical shifts in others as your words land on their ears and become absorbed into their nervous system.
Remember, what you say may not be heard as intended. Listen openly. Look for feedback and give others space to express themselves fully. Aim to communicate, stay present and listen rather than lecturing avoiding difficult discussions or detaching from your circumstances.
Keep your jaw soft and palate released as you form thoughts, speak and listen.
Feel the difference in your gut when you’re telling the truth, and when you you’re stretching, censoring for your benefit (or ignoring) the truth.
Communicate
Good communication is an impartial art. It is the skill of looking and listening closely without allowing your preconceptions and presuppositions cloud either your perceptions or your actions. When you communicate well you are able to draw connections between your gut feeling of truth, things you observe and the content of what you are attempting to convey. Like any art, good communication takes practice and the ability to remain comfortable within the paradox of having a vivid picture of something without holding onto forms, formulas or outcomes.
Fortunately, you don’t have to dissect communication to this extent in order to do it well. You know in your gut when it’s working and when it’s not. When frustration, power struggles, yelling or tears erupt, it’s not working. When you communicate well there is a feeling as though you’re riding along—sometimes smoothly, sometimes over rough terrine—with others and everyone is safe.
Set the intention to communicate openly and honestly, recalling the karmic chains of being is a pattern that is always in play.
Hone the skill of listening from the heart (meaning sincerely) without interrupting or trying to fix or solve problems. Just listen.
Notice if you’re determined to sell or impose your perspective. Instead, look for common understanding.
Don’t hesitate to pause and drop out of your thoughts in order to check in with the sensations you are experiencing in your body. If you feel uncomfortable in your body or nervous system, soften your tongue and follow a few full rounds of the breath. Focus on the physical sensation of being connected to earth.
Give a little
Sincere generosity is is one of the easiest ways to feel good and to contribute to the well being of others. The caveat is that it only really works if you honestly don’t expect anything in return. True generosity isn’t a contrived gesture it is an act of open kindness, one that is driven from a sincere desire to be of service. Check it out!
The next time you do something considerate for someone—even something small like making room for a car to pull in front of you in traffic—pay attention to what it feels like. Notice your breath, check in to see if and where you are holding tension in your body, and bring awareness to the passing of thoughts crossing your mind.
The next time you feel irritated or impatient with a situation or a person, again notice what it feels like in your body and what thoughts are arising.
Sometime, compare and contrast the feelings, thoughts and sensations associated with generosity and non-generosity. Don’t judge the difference simply make note of it.
Look openly into the eyes of others. Take the first step toward revealing your common humanness and vulnerability. This is interesting while wearing a mask.
