A Note on Happiness...
Lydia Peacock
Typically we pursue happiness as if it were something we’ll find; the rare jewel of true joy that eludes us time and again. There are moments we feel happy, but so quickly they’re gone—the fleeting sense of satisfaction dips back down into an abyss of dullness and we trudge on. We may wonder at others who seem to have a corner on happiness, privately fearing that we’re one of the unlucky ones destined only to search for happiness in vain, yet search we do; through relationships and work, drugs and entertainment, or the “serious” practices we call yoga. Then one day while looking, having pulled the corners of our soul apart as if searching for lost keys in the folds of the couch, we start to smile. Then something happens that makes us see through the silliness of our endeavors to find happiness and we realize we’ve been looking in all the wrong places. Due to luck or our stubborn perseverance, we have a flash of insight into the fact that true happiness exists beneath the surface of mind, sensation, and emotion. Pure lasting happiness has little to do with the superficial theories and objects we tie it to, but instead it is simply there beneath it all, patiently waiting to be freed from the restraints our confusion, resistances, theories, and doubts. We smile because we see that it is not happiness, but the content of our mind and the things of the world that are fleeting. For that split second, we tap into the limitless reservoir of intrinsic happiness that is always there as part of the true nature of being human. If only we could see it. And then usually the insight fades and we start looking for who we already are and what we already have as part of us once more.
Through our yoga practices we learn to watch the content of our embodied experience, alongside the content of our mind and our emotional states as they constantly come and go in a wave pattern. We learn to observe the ever-present states of stability, chaos, happiness, confusion, and so on that all seem so real but then fade into the background. Over time, as we make these observations within the safe space of practice, on our yoga mat or sitting cushion, the ability to be present with things as they are arise and seeps out into other corners of our life. We learn to soften into the fear of not knowing for certain what’s next, releasing our white-knuckled grip on the desire for someone or something to make us happy. Leaping out of the known into the unknown our fear of the unfolding of life, which has kept us falsely stable—though separate—over the years can begin to dissolve and we see pathways out of suffering toward lasting happiness, joy, and compassion.
Roberto Colasso in his remarkable book, Ka, imagined the Buddha asking himself the question, “Are you afraid of your own happiness?” Which is a question worth asking ourselves as well. Is it fear, that blinds us and keeps us trapped on the wheel of Samsara, frantically searching for something we already have? And if it is fear that’s imprisoning us, what is it that sustains the fear? These are important questions to ask again and again if we are to find a path out of suffering.
As the Buddha said, “Feeding the story of suffering makes you suffer.” Not feeding the story of suffering is no guarantee you will be happy, but it is a certain path out of suffering. Breathing into life, we start where we are.
Here we are together, right now….and that’s a good start!